The prospect of 5 Blur songs had me tuning into the last half hour of the show, which meant I had the ‘opportunity’ to witness the moment that ‘everyone’ is talking about today.  My favourite part of this is that Adele was flipping the bird to ”the suits” who forced her speech to be cut short, presumably the same suits that actually decide who wins the album of the year title?  Correct me if I’m wrong (I’ve done some light google-searching as research, which means I could be mistaken), but it’s not the fans that vote for that award.  Something as ‘important’ (apologies for the sheer volume of inverted commas in this post, the subject matter somehow requires it) as the album of the year cannot be decided by the common pleb.   

I feel that the main point is being missed here.  The Brits exists solely for suits.  Most of the awards given out are determined by these suits, and when the suits aren’t voting for the winner, well that’s when One Direction go and win accolades that are meant to be Britain’s answer to the Grammys.  The suits benefit from spikes in sales, from advertising revenue, the warm afterglow of sponsorship of such an event, from the supposed controversies of what is meant to be the biggest night in the UK music calendar.

The Brits are a nothing.  A complete nothing.  To be a success they must include the biggest acts so that they can add them to the annual Brit Awards compilation, and to secure some big name performances to have everyone tuning in and the advertisers queuing up to fritter some of their budget away on a prime time slot.  From the half hour I saw, the primary goal of the Brits this year was to mention Mastercard as much as possible. 

Coldplay are not the best band in Britain right now.  They never have been.  They’re a toothless stadium band making lighter-in-the-air singalongs for the masses who think a new Dido album in the pinnacle of musical excitement. 

Adele did not release the best British album last year.  She released the most popular album, one that is innocuous enough to appeal to lots of people as possible, whilst just having the slightest twist on what could be considered run-of-the-mill for everyone to feel they inched out of their comfort zones in buying it.

Ed Sheeran is not the best British male artist out there right now.  He is James Morrison for 2011/12, who was previously Newton Faulkner, who was previously James Blunt.  My mother turns 65 tomorrow and she’s far edgier than any of the above, and I assure you I don’t have an edgy mother. 

The Brits are a celebration of lowest common denominator music that people think we all enjoy.  We don’t.  Plenty of us care enough to be discerning.  Where were the urban choices?  How was dance music reflected in all of this?  How much did attendance dictate whether or not you won?   

All of the choices this year were popular, but inoffensive, as they always are.  Have Blur made an outstanding contribution to music?  They’ve released several awesome albums, but they’re not exactly The Rolling Stones yet are they?  Damon Albarn, through his various incarnations, has made this contribution to music.  Why not give the award to him alone?  Because he’s not quite the household name.  The sight of Ricky Butcher and Holly Willoughby (and probably Miranda Hart, but I have no evidence to prove this) dancing to Blur was enough to make me a little bit sick in my mouth, and definitely enough to make me think less of Blur as a whole.  They should have gone for the integrity move and turned it down.  They’re on the cusp of being regarded as national treasures, alongside the phone box, double decker bus and Dame Judi Dench.  I was happy to see them when they returned in 2009.  Now I can see a legacy being destroyed.

So, really, what did Adele expect?  The suits have helped sales of her album increase yet again (seriously, who doesn’t own that album that wants to now?  Each willing consumer must have at least 3 copies now, with a fourth anticipated come Mothers’ Day), and she was at a corporate awards show being screened live on ITV.  She has 6 Grammys to look at – something that could be considered a proper award, rather than a celebration of the banal.  She may have wanted to thank the fans and raise one finger to the establishment, but do you really go the establishment’s party and then slag of the host for behaving like the host?  To paraphrase my own Twitter update: It’s a bit like eating six Big Macs then waving a finger aloft at Ronald McDonald in a display of dissent over obesity. 

Find me an awards show that is something more than self-serving and irrelevant and I would be very impressed.  If the Brits meant anything, perhaps I would feel for Adele having her second special moment of the night cut short.  Perhaps she should try not turning up to the next one she’s nominated in – it would be interesting to see whether she won.

Meanwhile, the suits are fine.  They made their money and they’re singing along with your album in their Mondeos as we speak.  Good work.

It goes against my very nature to even be acknowledging today as anything more than a Tuesday in mid-February, but the urge to blog happens rarely at the moment and these words just feel like they need to be written down so I’m going with the compulsion.

First and foremost I have to say how privileged I am to have a girlfriend who not only states that she doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day, she actually believes that as well.  Any sort of romantic gesture from me on this day would at best be met with derision, at worst repulsion.  Lucky, really, for I will not partake in this nauseating display of contrived romance however much it might mean to someone else.

What is romantic about a day where you are expected to be romantic?  What is romantic about expecting someone to do something romantic for you because of a day that is otherwise completely meaningless to you?  Like Manchester city centre on a night when bars stay open ’til dawn for a pay-per-view boxing match, the outside world (and the inner land of social networking) is best avoided on a day like today.

Having experienced the dubious joys of working in an open plan office in the past, I have witnessed first hand the over-the-top joy of women receiving ‘surprise’ flowers at work, watched on with seething envy or narcissistic woe because they’re either single or don’t have a man romantic enough to conform to what was expected.  Likewise, walking through town amongst a slalom of men brandishing flowers, planning a special treat in the hope of receiving a blowjob that they would otherwise receive in lieu of nothing (or worse, this is their only chance for a blowjob, and let’s face it, we’re creeping towards a more acceptable form of prostitution at this stage).  The alternative is to be underwhelming and make your partner wonder whether you really love them, sulk with you.  THIS DAY, THIS ROMANTIC DAY, MAKES PEOPLE CRY IN A BAD WAY IN THEIR DROVES.  Mwah.

On the whole, there seems very little will involved in Valentine’s Day.  There’s obligation and there’s expectation.  Listen to the radio and hear lots of stories of how people fell in love – like Liz Kershaw’s show on 6music on Saturday (I was too lazy to switch it off – schoolboy error even on a normal week), where people reported the songs they fell in love to, in their droves, each proving that what is special to them is actually really quite mundane.  And what exactly is romantic about getting a song dedicated on the radio in and amongst thousands of other people doing exactly the same thing?  Do it in June, surprise your loved one for real.

Go out for a meal and you’re always under the threat of someone proposing in public.  What happens when several people go to the same restaurant with the same intention?  Does the first one propose and then the others decide to save it for somewhere equally romantic like the taxi rank, or maybe suddenly factor a frost-bitten moonlight walk down by the stinking canal?  Or do they just accept that everything about this wonderful surprise is uninspired and lacking in feeling and just go ahead with the proposal as well, one table after another?  Or if you go to the cinema, in a room full of couples performing acts ranging from hand holding to hand-jobs, the surround sound of sucking face to add to the rustling of popcorn and the slurping of buckets of fizzy pop.

Yes, there are plenty of different things you could do on this day, but there are plenty of different things you can do with your life AT ANY POINT.  It is counter-romance disguised as the most romantic day of the year.  Possibly the only good thing to come out of it is that The US Office do awesome Valentine’s episodes.

And that’s the thing – I’m not anti-romance in the slightest.  I’m anti compulsory romance.  I’m particularly against the people who state that they don’t believe in it, but would sulk if the day was not acknowledged as well.  They theoretically know better but still subscribe to it regardless.  Likewise those who choose to use the day to highlight their singleness and feel terrible about it – you’re idiots.  You’re no more single than you are on any other day, and moping about it won’t suddenly make your dream partner appear. 

Valentine’s was a fun distraction at school and a sneaky way to get your feelings out.  Full on kids stuff.  It’s a shame that the majority will never grow out of it.  If you think my cyncism is not in fitting with the day, then you’ve missed my point entirely.

Happy Tuesday.

Jeffrey Eugenides – Middlesex

Haruki Murakami – Norwegian Wood

Guy Mankowski – The Intimates

Gil Scott-Heron – The Last Holiday

William Golding – Lord of The Flies

John Updike – The Witches of Eastwick

For now, the remainder of what made 2011 awesome in its own way…

Gigs

I still don’t know whether the dearth of exciting new bands in 2011 was down to me or the music scene.  That said, 2011 has been one of my favourite ever for gigging, even though most highlights have come from long-term favourites.

BJORK at the Manchester International Festival was such an amazing experience.  Placed in the centre of an intimate space, Bjork played predominantly new songs and wowed the crowd more than if she’d done a greatest hits set.  I can’t begin to understand the technical innovations on display, but the spectacle was simply stunning.  Best live performer in the world right now, and one of the few musicians out there who is continually challenging themselves and their audience.

I have mixed feelings on reunions which are largely based on whether I still like the reuniting band or not.  PULP’s comeback was the most enjoyable reunion so far.  It occurred without the threat of new material, and it embraced the classics that everyone wanted to hear.  Having been slightly devastated when the Glastonbury line-up was released sans-Pulp, I held out hope that they would be taking one of the secret slots on The Park stage.  Having already been treated to surprise RADIOHEAD on the Friday (how many days do you get to wake up and discover that you’ll see Radiohead that day?  A special feeling), it seemed like a little too much to ask.  NME.COM confirmed the appearance (I remember the days when you could genuinely believe for the whole weekend that Rolf Harris had died, just because you were that cut off from the outside world – the days before the chill and charge tents), so about 20,000 or so festival-goers packed The Park and the hill behind it to join in one of the greatest Glastonbury moments of all time.  The shared elation was tangible, especially as it was sort-of surprise Pulp.  It was the party where your greatest hopes and expectations suddenly become reality.

Glastonbury summed up my live music year perfectly – some great performances by artists I already loved, but very little to inspire from the newer stages. THE KILLS grow as a live band with every album.  Her time with The Dead Weather has completed Alison Mosshart’s transformation into the perfect frontwoman.  Their Glastonbury set was emotional.  BRIGHT EYES put in a classic Glasto appearance (meaning Conor Oberst didn’t slag off John Peel and he could stand up).  I dream one day they’ll get to headline the Other Stage, just so he can play a few more of the hits.  Having seen them play for over 2 hours in Glasgow and Manchester this year, the Bright Eyes back catalogue is now so rich that some favourites just have be kept aside.  Just as exciting as any other point of their career.  For the new bands, THE VACCINES were fantastic.  They really, really make me want to be eighteen again.  I don’t know what it is that makes them more than a catchy indie-rock band, but there’s just something about them.  JANELLE MONAE was another highlight, as she is with every live show.  She’s one of the most exciting performers out there and she won over a lot of people at Glastonbury.  I also started to like BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB after their appearances – it took a while, but I think I now appreciate their greatness.  On the whole, it was a top  festival.  The line up didn’t look amazing on first glance, but tucked in there was more than enough for a classic weekend.

DANANANANAYKROYD bowed out with one final tour, which served only to show what music would be missing out on from this point forward.  They’re such an exuberant and fun band – they’re going to be  missed.  Other excellent shows this year – CSS, SONS & DAUGHTERS, THE MOUNTAIN GOATS, CRYSTAL FIGHTERS (love, love, love this band – especially live), and THE RAPTURE to name a few.  There were a few misses, but on the whole it’s been an inspirational live year. No Jack White, though.

Other stuff

Two really quite brilliant things happened to me this year that I really want to note before the year is out.  The first was the return of my cat, Avon.  I know it’s incredibly lame to dote on your pets (I assure you that I don’t treat my cats like they’re child-replacements – why would I get something I love (cats) to fill in the void left by something I don’t (children, on the whole)?), but my cats are two of my favourite creatures on this earth. After moving earlier this year, Avon went missing for 10 days.  It was genuinely horrible.  I’ve grown up with all sorts of animals, so I’m well up on pet tragedy, but with him being missing rather than dead it was somehow worse.  Didsbury was scoured day and night, and the whole area was plastered with missing posters.  Then, after all that, a dusty and thin Avon suddenly turned up whilst we were watching TV, shouting his head off and suddenly home.  It’s such a strange feeling when a situation like that suddenly ends – it’s a rare moment of pure surprise and elation that really hasn’t occurred often in my life all that often.  You can be wowed, amazed and ecstatic almost every day if you look in the right places, but true surprise, it’s just not out there very often.

Secondly, I just have to mention the book deal one last time.  I still can’t believe it.  Next year is going to be an interesting journey.  2011 was awesome in so many ways and now I can’t wait for the next bit.  It feels like an adventure again.

Happy new year.

Crystal Fighters have been an absolute highlight of the year for me, but the buggers released their debut in October 2010, thus making them ineligible.  Not only that, but this is the year that I’ve rediscovered the awesomeness of Pulp – in a way ‘His & Hers’ has been an album of the year, as has ‘You’re A Woman, I’m A Machine’ by Death From Above 1979.

That’s not to say I haven’t been listening to more recent stuff, and this list doesn’t just represent the 10 new albums I’ve heard this year.  There were strong releases by Sons & Daughters, CSS, Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks, Foster The People, Dananananaykroyd and Bright Eyes amongst others.  It’s not been a good year for new music, in my opinion, but then maybe I’m just out of the loop a little.  It does feel like 2012 needs some sort of musical backlash.  The charts are as dire as ever, and all the ‘proper’ music world has to offer in competition to reality TV is a re-release of Nirvana’s most infamous hit.

Disclaimers aside, here is my list.  I sense that I’ve missed something important out, something I’ll remember shortly after posting this.

10. Radiohead – The King of Limbs

9.  Rebirth Brass Band – Rebirth of New Orleans

8. Danger Mouse & Daniel Luppi – Rome

7. Bjork – Biophilia

6. Soul Rebels Brass Band – Unlock Your Mind

5. The Vaccines – What Did You Expect From The Vaccines?

4. The Rapture – In The Grace Of Your Love

3. Maria & The Gay – Greatest Hits Vol.1

2. The Kills – Blood Pressures

1. Lupen Crook – Waiting For The Postman

The next list will be live music, which has been truly astounding for me this year.  Watch this space.

Oh, and a very merry Christmas to anyone who happens to be reading this!

Several versions of this song are lurking about, but this is my favourite.  A happy-sad song, incredibly catchy, pretty touching. 

9 – Free Agents Brass Band – We Made It Through That Water

As this comes from the Treme soundtrack, which was released this year, this definitely counts.  One of several songs that have got me quite hooked on New Orleans music

8 – The Vaccines – Noorgaard

No other song this year has made me want to be 18 again more than this one.  The Vaccines didn’t seem all that promising, possibly due to the hype, until they delivered an almost perfect indie-rock debut album in what has been a sparse year for strong guitar music.

7 – Bombay Bicycle Club – Shuffle

It’s taken a few years, but finally Bombay Bicycle Club work for me.  Possibly their Glastonbury appearance, or the fact that I now like the singer’s voice.  This was one of the songs of the summer for me – an awesome single.

6 – Bright Eyes – Jejune Stars

A strong, classic Bright Eyes track – one of the standout tracks from ‘The People’s Key,’ it’s instantly catchy, meaningful in a way, but it’s the storytelling that lurks underneath that really makes this stand out. 

5 – The Rapture – How Deep is Your Love?

A storming comeback, just when it seemed like The Rapture were long gone.  It’s not overly original (and the ‘let me hear that song’ refrain always sets the ‘Thong Song’ off as an ear-worm), but this is one the best Rapture songs ever.

4 – The Kills – Nail in my Coffin

One of the few bands out there consistently improving with every album, and even more so as a live act.  Shame that this – the highlight off ‘Blood Pressures’ – didn’t make the set-list either time I saw them this year.  A genuinely exciting pop song.

3 – Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues

Someone laughed at me not so long ago for describing this song as beautiful.  I can’t think of a better term – perhaps life-affirming.  I didn’t expect to be amazed by Fleet Foxes this time round.

2 – Joe Goddard feat. Valentina – Gabriel

The song I’m most grateful to BBC6Music for introducing me to this year.  If I spent more time on dancefloors I might be calling it a dancefloor classic.  As I don’t, it’s just a belting party tune.   

1 – Bjork – Crystalline

Every Bjork album has at least 3 songs that proves she’s still one of the best musicians around.  This is just awesome – happy memories of the Manchester International Festival.  Mind-blowing.

It depends which side you listen to, of course, but what this does highlight is just how little we can trust our politicians.  Not exactly a bold statement, I admit, but when you have the supposed leader of your country delivering propaganda so blatantly.  I don’t see how more than 60% of schools being shut (including much higher proportions in Scotland and Wales), job centres closing, operations being postponed for up to eighteen weeks, trials not going ahead and all of the other things that didn’t happen yesterday was a damp squib.  Everyone was talking about it, and y’know, I think more and more we’re getting the measure of exactly what this supposed Government is about.

It’s about bullying to get your own – branding strikers selfish yet refusing to deal with them in the run up to the strike.  As PM, it was Cameron’s responsibility to try and prevent this happening.  I don’t mean simply agreeing to everything the unions are asking for, but to try and continue negotiations in a way that could have stopped this strike from happening.  If he was so concerned about the loss of education, then why weren’t he and his lot negotiating right until the last minute?  Simple - public opinion of the strikers can be completely savaged by marketing them as fat cats feasting on the tax payers’ money.

I don’t actually have an opinion on the pensions.  When I worked in the civil service, the general mantra was that you took low pay for better conditions – job security, pensions etc.  I don’t genuinely believe that this is an eternal right for public sector workers, and working in public health I know all about the problems that come with aging populations.  They cost a lot of money, and this has to come from somewhere.  But if this is what public sector workers believe in, then they have every right to fight tooth and nail for it.  Private sector workers may feel that the cushy lives lived by public sector workers are ridiculous, and that such conditions shouldn’t be a right, but we all make our own decisions, and for some their careers have been built on favouring such conditions and working environments.  It must also suck quite a lot for the public sector workers who are seeing their entitlements cut due to an economic situation that came right from the private sector. 

A problem that is endemic in this country is that there seems to be no empathy.  When the students were out striking last year, the media focused on the violent few and in general students were condemned for being over-privileged and derided for actually having the time to protest.  The tuition fee increases went through as planned, so instantly we have a generation of young adults who are completely disengaged with politics and ‘the system,’ but also with the nature of their fellow Brits.  Many people stood by whilst all of a sudden, students had eighteen months notice to try and find three times the fees. 

At present, even Labour are only offering lukewarm support for the unions (Miliband ‘came out’ in favour yesterday, kind of, but it’s taken him a very long time to get off the fence). 

I want those striking to succeed, just to send the message out that we don’t just get one vote and then lie down and accept everything that follows until the next vote.

I’m not a massive union fan, in many ways.  I was a member of PCS many years ago and found them very strike happy.  My branch failed to update members after they’d been on strike, and also added pay and conditions to the reasons for striking to mask the fact that the strike was predominantly to prevent a handful of redundancies in London.  At one point I had an interview for a job, which was then recinded due the fact that the job had been wrongly advertised.  When I reapplied, I didn’t get an interview and the union asked me to give them all my paperwork and then did precisely nothing.  One of the reps was in the union essentially to gather gossip from around the office and share with her little clique.  It was a bad experience that has put me off joining again.  I do hope that people haven’t been led into a strike to fulfil the unions obviously anti-Tory stance, but the sad thing is that there is propaganda from both sides.  When I was in the union, I had the word of HMCS and the word of PCS – two large organisations both vying for my support.  Finding the truth was struggle, most of the time.

It doesn’t help when many people strike just for the day off, and don’t engage enough with the debate to actually vote for industrial action when they’re being balloted.  If the laws are changed, then unions will need to work harder to motivate people to participate further than having an unpaid Christmas shopping day. 

That doesn’t mean I hate unions, though, and I think when this many people care enough about a cause to lose a days pay then people should at least give them the credit for having such conviction.  The Government have played up to the individualistic nature of this country brilliantly, highlighting the loss in vital operations, childcare issues and generally drumming up ill-feeling towards the strikers.  Cameron knows that the strike could have been the best thing that happened to him, because conjuring up sufficient public animosity could kill off faith in the utility of the unions once and for all.

But it’s important – if this action fails completely, then what next for public protest?  Marches are heavily policed (costing the tax payer a fortune, as the Government will gleefully point out, whilst turning their heads away from bankers’ bonuses), strikes are likely to be re-legislated in the near future, and everyone’s so scared of another bout of riots that any sort of public retaliation is going to be treated with suspicion.  Do we then just have to lie down and accept every corrupt little decision that gets made?

Politicians lost our faith once and for all with the expenses scandal, with the remaining optimists being shattered by the brief Clegg-mania and the coalition travesty that followed.  The message, over and over again, is ‘you can have your opinion, but we’re still going to do it our way, and we’re going to achieve it by letting you all fight amongst yourselves.’  Crush their spirits, just like Thatcher. 

We’re just about eighteen months into Cameron’s first term and I can’t think of any good things are coming from it.  So fingers crossed that yesterday worked, and if not, I hope those who can go on strike for longer next time, if need be.  They’re not selfish – they’re just doing something. 

Listening to – Outside by Tapes ‘n’ Tapes (at this very moment).  Currently caning the ‘Biophilia’ live album from Bjork, ‘Unlock Your Mind’ by Soul Rebels Brass Band, and ‘TKOL REMIXES 1234567′ from Radiohead.

So, then, this time tomorrow we’ll know for sure whether The Stone Roses have finally done what the tabloids have been speculating about for well over a decade and reforming.  They will also do what they’ve - on numerous occasions - whole-heartedly refuted as a concept or even a vague possibility.  When the rumours first made their way online, I thought it was some attempt by Clash magazine to draw the wider populace to their presence, or at the very least some wishful thinking and a rehash of the same rumours that have been played out on so many occasions.  This time is seems like it’s going to happen.  Oh dear.  I’ve never liked The Stone Roses and I also think that the wrong bands in Manchester get the widespread popularity and lifelong plaudits (I still struggle with the concept of people actually LOVING The Courteeners) – Manchester is proud of the music that it produces, but for some reason this only extends to the straightforward guitar bands who pick a sound and stick to it rigidly.  Manchester is an amazing music city, but it only gets interesting once you look beyond the potted history of the more popular acts. 

Obviously loads of people will be delighted – there’s a whole 15 years of new music fans who might have missed them first time, and then those who loved them in the first place and are just thrilled to have their personal favourites back.  The thing is, for years all of them have been saying just how out of the question it is and giving both personal and artistic reasons for this reticence.  Now that this announcement is imminent, how are you to respect them for a such a massive u-turn?  It’s not possible to rule out just saying that this is solely for the money, at which point those who are falling over themselves to pay vast sums for tickets are just buying in to what has to be a cynical reunion.  There’s probably more merit in the Steps reunion (although the posit that Steps’ return is the perfect antithesis to the recession would have made more sense if they weren’t charging £40 a head for their reunion arena tour). 

The Stone Roses limped out with terrible performances at the end, leaving behind a legacy of being adored by A LOT of people, but at the same time being perceived as mediocre and inconsistent by the nay-sayers.  Of all the bands who have found their way back on stage for the right figure, this feels like the most cynical because of just how much it has been denied, ruled out and played down by those in the band.  Only The Smiths could possibly be responsible for a bigger turnaround.

There’s still the slightest possibility that this rumour isn’t true, but the traditional denials haven’t been quite as loud this time round.  These nostalgia trips can be fun – The Verve 3rd time round were putting in some excellent shows until they ruined it with new music, Pulp have been absolutely outstanding this summer as well - but on the whole they seem to reflect dwindling bank balances and the realisation that musical heights have already been reached.  Is it not better to fall in love with a new band rather than live through the rehashes?

It’s only your money they’re after.  It’s important to remember this, Stone Roses fans – if they were doing it for you, they would have done it years ago.

http://forward.legendpress.co.uk/mainsite/2011/09/exciting-new-legend-press-acquistion.html

The contract was signed last month and it still feels incredibly surreal.  I think many writers can empathise with the feeling that you might never get published, be it through lack of ability or lack of opportunity (I’ve feared both, many times).  From the outside, the writing industry is incredibly daunting.  Agents take on clients selectively and many publishers won’t take you seriously without representation.  The process of contacting agencies is a lottery, with so many factors influencing the eventual rejection letter. On the whole, you receive only a brief, standard rejection letter with no feedback on the work you sent in (not a complaint – considering these people didn’t ask you to write to them, any acknowledgement should be appreciated), so you can’t learn from your mistakes in that way.  Rejection could rest on an ineffective synopsis or an off-putting cover letter.  At every turn you have to remind yourself that the chances of success are slim when you consider the numbers of manuscripts that are sent out each week.  Word came through of my deal on the day that rioting exploded all over the Manchester city centre.  Celebratory drinks in a beer garden to the distal sounds of sirens seemed very inappropriate in a way – I was sad for Manchester, but really quite delighted for myself.  As someone who has always told myself that it may never happen, this changed everything.  I’m still adjusting to the news nearly two months on.

I don’t write because I want to make a fortune from writing – I just want people to read my stories.  I want to see someone reading my book on public transport.   I’m especially chuffed about being published by Legend Press because they were the first people from the industry side to give me some confidence in my writing.  You only have to look at reality TV to see how deluded people can be about their supposed talents, so I’ve always found it easy to talk myself down.  In 2008, Legend Press started the Luke Bitmead Bursary Award, in honour of a writers of theirs who passed away.  The family of Luke Bitmead set up the bursary to help new writers, and each year unpublished authors submit completed novels in the hope of winning the main prize – a cash sum, but more invaluable than that, a publishing contract with Legend Press.  This is such a rare opportunity in British writing, especially with  no entry fee, and an incredibly positive thing to come out of something so terrible.  When the first Bitmead Bursary was announced in 2008, I submitted a novel I’d recently finished (Shot Down).  Lacking overconfidence, I didn’t expect to hear back, and was astounded when I was told that I was short-listed.  I was even more astounded to then be awarded runner-up in the competition.  It was the validation that I needed to tell me that there was something in what I was doing.

I submitted ‘The Almost Lizard’ for the 2010 competition, but as a previous finalist the novel wasn’t eligible.  Legend Press did say they’d consider the novel anyway, and several months later I got the offer.  It all just feels very right.

But anyway, this blog is for my ramblings as I head towards publication, as well as the last year of my PhD.  My writing can be found on my main website, and I’ll no doubt be posting links in the near future.  So there we go – awkward first blog over.